The Hot/Crazy Theorem

How important are physical appearances when searching for a soulmate?  The answer might be within the question itself... isn't the mating of two souls really the elusive goal?

Consider Barney Stinson's  (How I Met Your Mother, Fall 2009) chart that illustrates the theory of hotness to craziness.  The hotter the girl, the crazier she seems to be.  I concur with this concept, having gathered a large amount of empirical data that suggests that there is indeed an odd correlation between these two traits.

Hmm, why do 'hot' people act crazier?  Perhaps because they have a disconnect between their percieved reality and the actual state of the world.  For example, they may be given preferential treatment, feel an unjustified sense of priviledge, or even be overlooked by promising dating candidates because they are 'out of their league'.  Many physically attractive people exist in a miserable state of solitude battling the extremes of narcissism and low self-esteem.

Keeping in mind the extra burden associated with dating a 'hot chic', it makes me wonder, then, what should a single person really be looking for in a potential date?  According to Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg's "5 Love Needs of Men and Women" (2000) it breaks down like this:

Top 5 Love Needs:

1) Men: Unconditional Love -   1) Women: Unconditional Love

2) Men: Sex -   2) Women: Communication

3) Men: Friendship -   3) Women: Spiritual Intimacy

4) Men: Encouragement -   4) Women: Encouragement

5) Men: Spiritual Connection - 5) Women: Friendship

I will post on this topic at a later time, however this list illustrates that the Beatles were right... "All You Need Is Love". 

Ok, now take a moment to envision someone you are interested in that you know is considered 'hot'... now envision a potential date that you don't consider to be so 'hot' physically, but would be available to you as an option, if you so desired...

Which one of these people would be able to best meet your need for 'Unconditional Love'?  Ultimately, that is going to be what sustains the relationship.  Feeling a sense of Love and Belonging is the most important need of the human condition.  Obtain this and happiness is a given.

I challenge you to take another look at your list of current dating interests.  Maybe you can move someone back over from the 'not interested' list to the 'maybe' or 'definately' list based on this concept.  If there happens to be someone that you consider 'hot' and who also would be very likely to meet your top 5 Love needs... step away from the computer and ask them out NOW!  That is a rare combination.  Worried about rejection?  Forget about it.  Remember 'hot' people are crazy, so you really can't take any of their actions too seriously.  If they happen to accept your invitation... congratulations! My work here is done.