Muscatine Area Designated Singles Spot

The Missippi Brew recently won the 'Best Singles Place' award in the Muscatine Journal's Reader's Choice publication.  This got me thinking about several random topics:

MADSS
Maybe there should be a 'Designated Singles Spot'. There isn't anyway to make this official, but if area singles can agree to gravitate towards a specific weekend night spot, it really would make the process of meeting people in similar relationship situations more efficient.  Wouldn't it be nice to go into an establishment, knowing that everyone is single, and potentially interested in meeting you, given there is some chemistry? 

MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCES
The MADSS would be sort of like a 'Singles Dance'...  Back in my early years, just past puberty, this sort of thing was known as a middle school dance (at the old YMCA).  Sure it was awkward watching some of the more mature 6th grade girls making out with the 8th grade boys, but how exhilarating to be in a room full of girls eagerly anticipating the birth of a new relationship.  Though I was inspired when the DJ played Madonna's 'Crazy For You' or Motley Crew's 'Smokin' in the Boys Room', I never really talked to any of the girls, just sat along the wall trying to get up the nerve to ask one of them to dance... didn't happen.

Oh, how much has changed... ooops, same thing, I still sit along the wall, trying to get the nerve to talk to seemingly compatible females.  But now, I look back, and I want a second chance at the middle school dance scene.  No, I am not planning on stalking 13 year olds, but I think we can bring back the general concept of a middle school dance to the Muscatine weekend singles scene.

BANNING MARRIED/INVOLVED PEOPLE
Ok, if you are married or in a committed relationship, I respectfully ask that you leave the yet to be named  MADSS.  Whether it ends up being the Brew, The Pearl, Hubbles, or One More Round, there is no reason for you guys to be here after 11pm.  Get out! Go home and make out with your spouse.  The rest of us are most likely going to be making out with ourselves tonight, so enjoy the simplicity of your situation.

Your presence confuses and complicates things. Sure, I suppose we can try and look for a wedding ring, but come on, wouldn't it just be easier if you just left in a timely fashion?  What can the bar possibly have to offer married folks after 11pm, barring some sort of alcoholic co-dependency?  If you insist on lingering, at least make sure to be WITH your spouse so there isn't any confusion.  Flaunting the shiny happy couple thing you got going on will be frustrating to lonely single people, but perhaps a bit inspiring as well. 

If you are married, and hanging out sans partner after 11pm at the bars.. well, you might as well fill out a dating application, because you will be joining the Muscatine Single Scene soon... guaranteed, or your money back. This is the land of the lost... divorce is just around the corner for married souls who dare enter.

EMBRACE YOUR OUTER UGLINESS
Since some of you married/attached peeps are going to insist upon mucking up the dating scene, perhaps you can at least agree to 'embrace your outer ugliness'. Sure you are a beautiful person on the inside, so why tease lonely single men/women by maintaining your attractiveness in public.  You won, you attracted a mate, now enjoy one of the perks...you can 'let yourself  go'.  No need to exercise or wear fashionable clothing.  Make-up is no longer necessary for the women, and clean clothes are optional for the married men.  Your ugliness can serve as a form of communication to us single types that you are respecting our situation by not becoming one of our temptations.

Why would you want to be attractive to single people?  Is your self-esteem really that low that you need to be 'hit-on' at bars?  It is your spouses job to provide you with daily ego-boosts, not ours.  So put on your sweatpants and stuff your face full of cream-filled donuts prior to your 'night out on the town'. 

VOTE for the MADSS...
Ok, so if I can convince the married/attached people to establish an 'uglier' lifestyle and leave the MADSS by 11pm, all that is left is for us to agree on the spot.  I have screened out the options to include four establishments that seem conducive to re-creating the middle school dance dating scene.  After we have officially given the MADSS award, we can begin to meet there Saturday nights from 10pm to 1:30am.

Personally, I voted for 'One More Round'.  It has a dark and trippy dance floor that is hosted by a DJ with all sorts of music.  He plays a lot of 80's heavy metal early on, but kicks in a nice dance club scene for a bit around 11pm.... perfect.  Maybe he will put on some cheesy slow jam from the 80's and I can thoroughly realize my 'middle school flashback'.

So it is time to get MAD! Maybe, just maybe my DREAM will become I reality.... I will be given that 'second chance' to make up for the lost opportunities of my younger years by hitting on single adult women at the 80's bar. ...dare to dream Mr. Matchmaker.... dare to dream.

Downtown Dating Scene Field Report

Where are most married couples at 1am on a Sunday Morning?... asleep.  They most likely have just clicked off Saturay Night Live, perhaps enjoying each others intimate connection, and dosed off anticipating the family friendly projects they have planned for Sunday. 

On the contrary, single people in Muscatine can often be found engaging in the 'networking' processes at various night club establishments, predominantly located in the downtown area.  So, reluctantly, I 'play the game' which does include tyring to get 'out there' especially on weekend nights.  There really isn't any reason to be 'out' after 11pm if you are married or in a serious relationship, hence this makes for the perfect time to search for a mate.  Lots of people prowling around, open to making new acquaintances.

Do people really find true love at bars?  My experience would suggest that they don't.  However, one has a greater chance of meeting a potential partner by going out on weekend nights as opposed to watching SNL with their pet.  So, I will continue to go out from time to time.  However, I can't wait to put this process behind me, as it is frustrating and some of my personality traits limit my potential for success.

I started at The Pearl, and brought my camera along hoping to maybe do some interviews documenting the nightlife in small-town America. Really was a good atmosphere with good music, romantic ambience, and a crowd that I feel relatively comfortable around.  There were plenty of attractive people there Saturday, however I wasn't quite able to 'connect' with any of them.

It seems that an unwritten dating rule is that the man approaches the woman.  Unfortunately, I am sort of introverted when it comes to talking to attractive single females, so the available women really served no purpose for me except to aggravate my frustrations.  I have plenty of strengths, but picking up chics in bars is not one of them.   So, the empty chair in the picture on the left sort of illustrates the situation... Always Searching. I should note that I don't drink anymore, so I really spent most of my time overthinking everything, but hope to be able to 'relax' more during future outings.


I then headed off to 'One More Round'.  This bar has a nice dance floor and DJ, so it has potential for more 'hooking up'.  The late night grope fest that sometimes occurs in a club atmosphere can be conducive to establishing intimacy with a stranger.  Again, I really just ended up staring at people who seemed to be having fun and then took off.

I did meet some interesting people along the way...

I logged almost 3 hours of primetime single-guy night life... really a good accomplishment considering how painful I find the notion of this specific form of social interaction.  I prefer to meet people through a common activity, and therefore also involve myself in groups such as the Muscatine Cycling Club, Pearl City Players, Community Y fitness classes, etc.

You never know, maybe on one of these late night downtown experiences, an extroverted and compatible female will instigate a life changing interaction with me that leads to a fulfilling long-term relationship.  Yeah, the odds aren't in favor of this, however, because it is technically possible, I will continue to experiment and look forward to the day when I can put this process behind me once and for all.

Do you have any thoughts about the downtown dating scene, or maybe even any suggestions for alternate activities for singles?  Feel free to post your comments, as others may find them insightful.  I am hoping that readers will get involved in this project.  By pooling our resources we should be able to change the lives of local community members... maybe even your own.

(The street interview and misc. Muscatine Matchmaker insight will be broadcast as part of the Muscatine 'IN-Box' TV show on Access Channel Nine which airs Thursday at 12pm, 5pm & 10pm and Fri/Saturdays at 2pm & 7pm. This video clip is also available within the 'Video Bar' section, which links to my Matchmaker YouTube channel.)

The Wing Woman

First let me explain what a 'WINGMAN' is for those not versed in the single-guy culture.  A wingman is a term used to describe a male friend that accomanies another male friend (the pilot) with the sole purpose of helping him navigate the 'plane' successfully toward the destination (Hookupville).  The wingman keeps his eyes and ears open for potential opportunities with respect to available females.  He always serves to represent his buddy's best interests, helping him seem as attractive to the opposite sex as possible. This may include instigating conversations with women and then discretely introducing subject matter that exposes his friend's best characteristics.  And, simply enough, he is supportive of the night's common cause... getting 'out there' within the single scene in hopes of networking future relationships.  The mere presence of a wingman allows the 'pilot' to conduct his mating procedures with more confidence and direction, as it would be more difficult to fly these missions solo.

Well, I haven't really been having any success with this 'wingman' approach.  In fact, finding a good wingman is becoming next to impossible, as most of the good ones have journeyed over to the 'other side' and gotten married.  Fortunately, I believe I have an even better approach... the Wing Woman.  Instead of hanging out with another single dude, I am going to experiment with attending various social events with another single female.  The main qualification is that she understands her roles (see above) and that we not be interested in each other romantically, only as friends.

As you can see by the photo, the wingwoman is communicating to other females an acceptance of her friend.  He actually seems to look more attractive just by his proximity to her.  Her attractivness is almost rubbing off on to him (guilt by assocation).  The nonverbal communication is that this guy has a certain 'something' that makes him a worthy companion.

Even more specific to the benefits of bringing a wing woman instead of a wingman, is the fact that she will be more keyed into what other women want, and can use her female intuition to guide me towards the single women that seem to be interested in me.  We will have to be careful that others don't assume we are dating.  Though this challenge would excite potential female suitors, it will defeat the purpose of interacting with available singles. 

I am planning on continuing my research of  Muscatine Mating Habits this Saturday night by conducting video interviews of people I meet at various downtown establishments.  I will be taking dating applications as well, hoping to sign up my first Matchmaker candidate.

I have a large skillset of 'Matchmaking' tools available.  However, it may take some time to find someone willing to expose their available status to area residents.  In small town America, everything is everyone's business and privacy is at a premium. It will take a confident individual, not worried about 'what other people think'.  There is no reason to be ashamed of being single, it is perfectly natural.  By putting yourself in front of as many dating candidates as possible, you increase your likelihood of finding 'THE ONE' not just 'another one'.  Many relationships fail because people settled for partners they weren't compatible with in the first place.  Don't let this be you.

Life is too short to live it any other way except to it's fullest.  Don't spend time alone that could be spent enjoying the benefits of life partnership.  Everything is just that much more possible with a companion.  I can help make this happen quicker than you can alone.  Sign up today!  Others may be inspired by your lead, and I can start to reduce the lonely plight of the small-town single.

Muscatine Matchmaker Application

Thanks for your interest in marketing your dating availability on Muscatine Matchmaker!  Simply email the Muscatine Matchmaker your responses to the application below and make sure to attach a picture or two. You will be profiled on a future post and listed within the 'Available Muscatine Singles' portion of this site.  You may even have an opportunity to be profiled for the upcoming TV show.

Dating Match Application

Name: _________________________________    Hometown: _______________________

Age: _____________        Gender: _________            Height: ___________

Body Type:   Skinny    Average    Athletic/Fit     Muscular   Curvy     Full-Figured    Husky   Large

Marital History:      Single/Never Married     Divorced

Children?:     Yes, At Home      Yes, But not at home      No Children

Employment: ______________________   Do You Smoke: _______     Do You Drink: _______

Education:  High School   Technical Degree    Associates Degree    4 Year Degree   Masters/Doctorate

About Yourself (Brief Bio/History):

Dating Strengths:

About Your Match:

Hobbies/Passions:

Favorite Music/TV/Movies:

Would you like to be considered for a video profile which will be displayed on the TV show and on this site?

Would you be interested in being a co-host or special guest on the TV show?
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Email to Muscatine Matchmaker along with photo(s) and any additional information, or questions.
NOTE: By submitting this infromation, you are authorizing the website adminstrator to post the provided information/media to this site.  This information will NOT be shared to third-party companies, spammers, etc.  You can request to remove your application at any time. This service is absolutely FREE to qualified candidates.   We reserve the right to refuse service.

The Date Weight Trap

I assumed the concept of 'Date Weight' was common knowledge, but have been getting some puzzled looks when I explain my observations of this phenomenon.  Basically, I have noticed that many people (particularly females) seem to have two different weights that they maintain based on their single status.  Single females tend to be 20 to 30 pounds lighter than females who are in a serious relationship or married.  What's the deal?

Ok, this isn't that hard to figure out, and actually one of the more positive aspects of being single... singles interested in attracting an intimate partner seem to have increased motivation to display a more healthy physical appearance. Makes sense.  If your house is for sale, you will want to put a fresh coat of paint on it so that it is more appealing to potential buyers.

One of the first thoughts that cross my mind when I see that someone has lost a lot of weight is to wonder if they have recently gone through some sort of break up that has made them suddenly available for dating. It isn't easy to maintain a healthy body weight these days, and often what is lacking in those that struggle is the motivation to exercise and eat sensibly.  Well, it can be very motivating when you are trying to 'compete' with other singles, to be as healthy looking as possible.

Why is it more attractive to be at a healthy body weight?  Humans are instinctively attracted to a mate who appears to possess longevity and the ability to support a family structure.  Being obese reduces life expectancy due to increased risk  of certain diseases including  heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. Therefore, it is perfectly natural to feel a certain sort of attraction to a partner that will potentially be physically capable of raising children for the longer term.  The converse holds true as well.  People who are too thin project an unhealthy vibe and can also be percieved as unattractive.

So, the date weight trap then, is to reduce your body weight to its most attractive state, only to 'let yourself go' once you have established the monogamous relationship.  The other partner consequently, has sort of been mislead.

I really don't think this is a 'trap' however.  Once you have committed to a partner, it really won't matter how much they weigh, inate pair-bonding emotions will take over, and love hormones will allow you to accept your partner regardless of their physical disposition.  The key, though, is to get your foot in the door.

And, I will fully support anything that helps motivate people to get in better shape, as 67% of the American population is currently overweight and/or obese.   Unfortunately, the initial stages of attraction are based on physical first impressions.  Internet dating combats this slightly, allowing people to get to know each other before meeting physically, however, for the most part, you still need to present your best so you can attract a compatible mate. 

I can't think of any real downside to making it a goal to be at 'date weight' if you are single person in Muscatine hoping to attract an intimate partner.  I am not suggesting that singles obsess about their weight, however.  Your outer shell won't ultimately be what attracts your soul mate...given the proper amount of time, patience and a bit of luck you will find true love by simply 'being yourself'... I am merely suggesting that establishing your date weight may quicken the process.

Dating Tip: Small Town Style & the Jock Block

Smaller towns tend to have a more restrictive dress code with respect to male fashion. A night on the town in Muscatine will reveal a large represtation of men wearing caps (camoflouge, baseball, college, etc.), hooded sweatshirts w/ logo (rock bands, farm equipment, tool brands, etc.), blue jeans and some sort of boot. This is a safe bet, and actually won't 'scare off' the average Muscatine single female.

During the warmer months, t-shirts with clever verbage are popular... Not too sure about wearing this t-shirt (pictured  on the right) for an engagement photo.... but what do I know? After all, he is getting married.

If you deviate from this small-town culture by over-dressing you will be setting yourself up for the infamous 'jock-block'. Your masculinity will be in question (i.e. metro-sexual), which is an attempt by competing males to elimate some of the competition by placing them 'out of the game' or 'on the other team'.

If you have a subscription to GQ, Maxim, Men's Health, etc. and want to emulate some of the fashions featured in those magazines... hmm, you are in the wrong town. Though you may catch the eye of the discerning female, chances are she will assume you aren't interested in her.  So if you are headed to the bowling alley, grab your hoodie and blue jeans, and leave the button-ups and khakis for the 'big-city' folk.

eHarmony for Muscatine Singles

Ok, I have to admit to trying a few internet dating sites.  Unfortunately, this is where being from a small town really screws things up. First of all, it is a bit embarassing.  Everyone seems to know everyone, so broadcasting your single status seems awkward (obviously I have gotten over that).  And, more importantly, once the sites filter out unqualified candidates you are usually left with zero compatible local matches.

The obvious solution (aside from moving), is to open things up to include matches from surrounding communities.  The only site that seems to actually be worth the time, effort and money is eHarmony.  I have been on this service off and on for about a year and can report that I have had a certain level of success.  Oddly, there has only ever been one Muscatine match, but it was actually a girl I had been interested in, so I was pleasantly surprised.  This service does, in fact, do a good job of only presenting you compatible matches.She didn't respond to my request for communication, and thus the story continues.

My most recent 'success story' involves a girl who seemed to be my perfect match.  Our emails to each other were completely hilarious... we seemed to really 'get' each other.  She shared my passion for competitive fitness (namely cycling), was a surgeon (sweet!), funny, intelligent, and seemed attractive.  We had a lot in common, definately not 'opposites'.  Our phone conversations, however weren't as smooth as our emails (seriously, some of our correspondence could be published, good stuff), but I was determined to see this thing through.

I was suspicious when she mentioned she liked heavy metal, was obsessed with the Green Bay packers and watching football, and mentioned she could relate to feeling singled out for being a female in male-dominated careers (like welding, surgery, etc.).  None of these things are bad, just signs that maybe we weren't as compatible as I thought.  Could I have chemistry with someone who seems to really be 'one of the guys'?

Well, nervously we met at a restaurant in Iowa City.  Instantly we both had the same reaction... sort of a 'meet and greet' type date but no chemistry.  The 'friend' vibe was overwhelming, and we both felt it.  Very disappointing.  We emailed a couple of times, but ultimately the name of the game is love, not friendship, so we have both moved on.

Chad's Dating Post #1 - My Journey Begins...

Yeah right, the journey began many,many years ago.  I have been single for a really long time.  Sure I've had a couple of 'starter relationships' but for the most part I've done this 'living' thing alone.  It seems like I know what I'm looking for now and have matured enough to actually be a good catch.  My career is solid, my education is growing, my fitness is improving, and my emotions are maturing.

Now that I am getting older, it seems like I am even more focused on finding a female to share my life with.  This wouldn't be such a noteworthy situation, I mean there are plenty of single guys and gals running around 'looking for love', but I feel being single in such a small town makes this sort of a unique experience.  (And by unique I mean virtually hopeless).

Sure, I could expand my dating pool to include neighboring cities like Iowa City, Davenport, Cedar Rapids, etc., but I am inpsired by the challenge of actually meeting someone right here in Muscatine.  I know she exists, at least statistically (I think I may have even seen her at the gas station as I drove by).  I also feel that there may indeed only be ONE person that I am compatible with in this town. Think of the fun I am going to have as I navigate the Muscatine singles scene in search of this ONE single female.

 If you start to filter the Muscatine population by eliminating those who don't fit my basic dating qualifications (dudes, married chics, under/over aged, country music lovers, smokers, minimally educated, etc.) you would be left with a very small number of potential candidates.  Of those that are left, we don't know each other exists and are available, so most likely won't meet.  If we did, it wouldn't be a given that we would have good chemistry, which would mean they wouldn't be compatible either.

So you can see I have got my work cut out for me.  Join in my quest. Put a little love in your heart.  By following my misadventures you may stumble upon a certain kind of love of your own.  I will be presenting my experiences, some personal observations and single-guy perspectives, but I also hope to feature other Muscatine singles (age 25 and older) in an attempt to help others free themselves from this lonely scenario.

Stay tuned.

Welcome to the Muscatine Matchmaker Official Website!

Check back as the TV show develops.  This site will chronicle my trials and tribulations as a single guy in the extremely small dating pool that is Muscatine IA.  There will also be dating advice and, of course, single people looking for matches!

I will be taking applications for a FEMALE MATCHMAKER to co-host the show with me and MUSCATINE SINGLES who would like to be featured on the upcoming local access channel TV program.