Crush-INc. Muscatine Speed Dating

I think this idea has some potential.  I know that there are plenty of single people in this town who wouldn't be opposed to enhancing the quality of their lives by adding an intimate relationship to their situation. I see a breakdown in communication as one of the reasons why some people aren't able to meet anyone special and/or settling for someone who they aren't truly compatible with. 

I will be developing the idea over the next few weeks.  Any suggestions or feedback about local speed dating may be useful. 

I featured this concept on the Muscatine In-box. 

The inspiration came to me as I was looking at an acquaintance's photos on facebook, and felt my heart begin to race. I was 'crushin'. Sort of a neat feeling. It think it is healthy and vitalizing to have a few 'crushes'. 

So, the idea is to create an event that breaks down the barriers to communication that seem to be present in the Muscatine singles scene by having singles of similar ages participate in 6 minute speed dates with about 10 people. No rejection, as I would simply email any 'crushes' the next day to those who expressed interest in each other. The owner of the Missippi Brew actually suggested it, so this is the real deal.

I am planning on speed dating in the quad cities to see what it is all about, and then hope to have a speed dating event in Muscatine February 12th.

Single Guy Field Report

I went out in search of new connections Saturday night in the Muscatine area.  I met a group of 3 other friends at the Pearl in Downtown Muscatine.  We settled in to some pretty stimulating conversations, which made for a worthwhile evening.  I couldn't help to notice, however, that we really could have saved ourselves  some money and effort and just hung out at somebody's house, because we didn't acknowledge anyone else in the room except for the waitress as she took our orders.  It wasn't just us, everyone seemed to keep to themselves.  I know people 'go out', as opposed to 'stay in', because they are open to new relationships (friend, business, intimate, etc.), yet I didn't see a lot of mingling.

Then we went to the Elms, which is under new ownership, so turning in to a bit of a hang-out.  I immediately fell in love with their 'elvis booth' and had an alright time chatting it up with one of the new owners, who is a friend. People were mingling much more at this scene, unfortunately there weren't necessarily any compatible females, with respect to my dating aspirations, but for the most part, another worthwhile stop.

Dating Client - Barton

Name: Barton Hometown: Libertyville
Age: 20 Height: 6'2", 185lbs
Body Type: Athletic/Fit Muscular
Marital History: Single/Never
Children?: No Children
Employment: Student/Geneva Country Club
Do You Smoke: No
Do You Drink: NA Education: Some College





Dating Strengths: Good sense of humor, honest, athletic, healthy, likes to party, not controlling, takes grandma to church on Sunday, looking for casual dating,

About Your Match: Female, Athletic/Energetic, Pretty, trusting, age 18-35, single,

Hobbies/Passions: Enjoys exercising, playing piano

Favorite Music/TV/Movies: Likes all kinds of music

Be sure to check out the video clip from Barton's Muscatine Matchmaker TV interview!

If you are interested in this client, please email a dating application to the Muscatine Matchmaker. We need some information/photos to verify compatibility with the dating client. If we feel there is a 'match' we will proceed to exchange contact information. We will only 'match' people who we feel have a good chance of creating a successful relationship.

Dating Client - Chad

Name: Chad     Hometown: Muscatine
Physical:  5'11",  175lbs.
Body Type: Athletic/Fit
Marital History: Single/Never Married   
Children Under 18 Living at Home:  No
Employment: MCC Video Dept/ Small Business Owner
Do You Smoke: No     Do You Drink: No    
Education: 4 Year Degree
(Currently obtaining Master's Degree in Mental Health)


About Yourself (Brief Bio/History):  I have lived in a variety of places, but settled back in Muscatine,  and am now ready to settle into a committed relationship.  I went to the University of Iowa, majoring in Communications with a Media and Film emphasis.  I am inspired by the concept of helping others with relationship and marital issues as I navigate through my own journey as a single man in a small town.  I am ready to 'settle down' and would be considered 'marriage-minded'. I want to be a great 'partner', building the best life possible for those close to me.

 
Dating Strengths:  Good sense of humor, financially independent, physically fit, energetic, relationship specialist, intelligent, good listener, creative, great recreational partner open to new activities. Open to commitment and appreciative of family values.  I am interested in helping my partner reach their fullest potential.

About Your Match:  Female, 25 to 38 years old, non-smoker, intelligent, physically fit, active, athletic/healthy body type, marriage-minded, values partnership, inspiring, independent. Appreciative of  art/music/cinema.  Not appreciative of NASCAR or Country Music.

Hobbies/Passions:  I enjoy training and competing in cycling events.  I spend free time studying mental health therapy, focusing on relationship issues, as part of my master's degree program.  I appreciate expressing myself through art and media such as photography and filmaking.

TV/Movies:  Community, My Name is Earl, 30 Rock, Simpsons, Sara Silverman, South Park, The Office, Intervention, Biggest Loser, 48 Hours Mystery, Dateline, Judge Mathis, Vanilla Sky, Natural Born Killers, Celebrity Rehab, Cougartown.

Favorite Music: Alternative, Rock, Hip Hop, Electronica

(Flaming Lips, Mercury Rev, Smashing Pumkins, Fat Boy Slim, Polysponic Spree, Postal Service, Matt and Kim, Angels and Airwaves, Jane's Addiction, Weezer, Pixies, Muse, M83, Antlers, Big Pink, Beck, Spiritualized, Maps, Sparklehorse, Yo La Tengo, NIN, Snoop Dogg, etc.)

(Above:  Here I am leading the pack at the 2009 Iowa State Crit Championships)

If you are interested in this client, please email a dating application to the Muscatine Matchmaker.  We need some information/photos to verify compatibility with the dating client.  If we feel there is a 'match' we will proceed to exchange contact information.  We will only 'match' people who we feel have a good chance of creating a successful relationship.

The Rule of '3's'

No, I'm not talking about the well known rule that celebrities die in groups of three (i.e. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMann), but the rule of 3's that addresses picking up women at bars...

You see, a man has the best chances of success when attempting to hook up with a girl who is in a group with two other girls, than any other numerical combination.

First consider a group of two girls...  You can't really go up to that twosome and instigate a conversation that doesn't seem to be interupting something.  And, more importantly, the girl you are asking out wouldn't be willing to leave her girlfriend alone the rest of the evening, so things can only go so far.

Sure, making conversation with the lonely looking girl sitting by herself at the bar is tempting, but 9 out of ten times she is simply waiting for her boyfriend.  Or, worse yet, she is desperate and manipulative, hoping to entice her prey with her 'wounded smile' approach.

What about groups of 4 or more girls?  Well, those are either bridal parties or a bunch of married/attached women at a 'girls night out' event. But, even if they are not... way too confusing. 

So, that leaves the threesome as the best option, statistically, for the single male to approach.  One of these girls is the DD (designated driver).  Stay away from her!  She will definately bust your game.  Make sure to provide her with a good impression, though, as she will ultimately be making the call regarding whether or not you and 'the chosen one' get to extend your evening in private.

There will also be another DD (designated drunk).  Ok, this girl isn't worth the risk.  She may be hot, but stay away, as for whatever reason, she has 'issues' tonight.  Her main role will be to keep the other DD occupied while you escape with 'the chosen one'. 

Ahh, 'the chosen one'...The girl who caught your eye from across the crowded room and returned your adoring gaze.  Approach with confidence, knowing that 'three' is a magical number, statistically proven to provide you with favorable odds of making a lasting connection.  Good Luck!

Ok class, today's word is Butter Face...

1.Butter Face
n. A girl who is hot, except for her (but her, butter) face.
2.Butter Face
A homonym that sounds like "but her face." To call a woman a "butter face" is to say her body is very sexy but her face is ugly.

No worries, this can apply to men as well.  Some celebrities that might clarify...Carrot Top , Tori Spelling , Danny Bonaduce, etc. 

Being single, I do spend some time thinking about what I find 'compatible' in a female mate, and I have to say that having an attractive body is way up there on my 'list'. Even experts agree that when it comes to sexual attraction, an in-shape physique plays a large role. 

Luckily, most people have a certain amount of control regarding what their body looks like.  Faces are more of a genetic endowment situation, but determined (maybe insecure is a better word), men and women can compensate for other deficiencies (both physical and/or mental) by toning their body through diet and exercise.

I exercise alot, which maybe leads to my predispostion to dating a female with a fit body.  I stumbled upon an article that may help clarify some men's motivation to exercise: Lift More Weights, Get More Mates: Research Shows Muscular Men Have More Flings

My workouts have shifted from all cycling, to half cycling, half weight lifting(& kick-boxing).  As I focus in on the process of finding a bride, I am deciding to add a muscular physique to my presentation, and see how that may shake things up.  I might not win as many bike races next year, but after all, isn't  'getting the girl' the real trophy?

Maybe you are have a  butter body (hot face, not so hot body), it really is all good. When it comes down to it, looks fade, but true love can be forever. Also fortuitous is the fact that some men/women even prefer larger body types.  What characteristics are 'hot' is subjective, and varies depending on the person.

What do girls prefer? In a recent study, women rated "toned" guys - the physical type two notches down from "brawny" - as the most sexually attractive because "they're not so overloaded with testosterone that they are volatile, aggressive and dominant,"

Still, in a study by Frederick and Haselton of 82 college coeds, most women reported that their short-term partners were more muscular than their long-term ones. They characterized their long-term - and presumably less muscular - partners as more trustworthy and romantic than their one-night stands or brief affairs.

"This suggests that the sweet-guy approach works better for less muscular men," Frederick said. "The muscular men don't need to put in this kind of effort, especially for a short-term relationship."
 
Hmm, confusing...I am not so good at being a 'sweet-guy' but I can sure do a lot of bench pressess...Ok I am going to keep working out just in case, and keep my options open with respect to who I will consider dating... after all Jimmy Soul may have a point...

"If you wanna be happy For the rest of your life,

Never make a pretty woman your wife,

So from my personal point of view,

Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.

But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind

Don't let your friends say You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch"

Get Married or Die...

Did you know that married men have a life expectancy that is about 10 years longer than men who have remained single all of their lives? This is a statistic that can get you thinking. 

One explanation: Single men live dangerously to compete with other young men for status, resources and, of course, women.   I can also suggest that, being single can be both exhausting and stressful.  Single people seem to stay out later, sleep less and engage in more un-healthy activities.  Lonliness also leads to mental health issues that can shorten your lifespan.  Ok, so this suggests to get a wife, a partner or at least a lot of friends... Married men live longer.

Further evidence for this data was apparent as I observed single and male social patterns at a Halloween party I recently attended.  It wasn't a large affair, there were about 6 couples and 6 singles. 

First, I have to give the married couples credit for leaving the house, many others in their situation were at home watching scary movies and trying to bore themselves to sleep.  Yet, as the night lingered on, one by one, the married people began to leave.  It really was relatively early (around 11pm was when they began their exit strategies).

Of note, though, the single people weren't leaving.  Well, why would we?  We don't have anywhere else to be, no real major obligations, so basically free to see if the night can possibly reward us with something more. The married people, on the other hand, had no real reason to stay (perhaps no real reason to be there in the first place, but that is a different story).

Once we had cleared out all of the married/engaged people, the party finally started to get interesting.  The conversations were more stimulating and we could relate to each better, producing a more satisfying connection.  As far as life expectancy goes, however, the married people were at home getting plenty of sleep,while us single people were contemplating which bar to go to(several local establishments were having halloween parties).  I ended up staying up really late, and being exhausted the next day.  No worries, though, sleeping through most of Sunday isn't a big deal when you live alone.

I do know of some marriages, however, that are so volatile and stressful, that the partners are indeed taking years off of their lives simply by perpetuating their awful relationships.  The stress of arguing and feeling trapped can be even more detrimental than engaging in the single life.

So, if you can't get a partner, get a life... have lots of friends to keep you happy and healthy.  Maintaining friends, however, can take quite a bit of effort as well.  I would prefer to just have one really really close friend... a girlfriend/wife, and then a handful of couples as friends...  In the meantime, the journey continues... thanks for reading.

MATCHMAKER TV
I am still looking for a qualified candidate to be the first guest on Muscatine Matchmaker TV.  Our staff will produce a video profile of you and then interview you at the channel nine studios.  Interested viewers will email the Matchmaker their dating information/photos/etc. If we find a 'Match' we will help organize the first contacts (phone call or email)  and help arrange a first date (if their seems to be chemistry).  Apply today!